Are you ok?

I ask myself that same fundamental question everyday. Are you ok? I answer myself usually with yeah I’ll be ok but lately I’ve been answering it with no I’m not ok. In all honesty… I’m not. I’m emotionally drained. I’m emotionally unstable. I am just full of negative emotions that are annoying. 

Most of all, I am DONE. I am done feeling like I don’t matter. I’m NOT ok. Nothing about this or about me is ok. I am exhausted with all of this that I am going through. I am just completely different than who I used to be.

I get it… Life isn’t fair not at all not even close. I am having a hard time and it seems to not be getting any better. I feel like I’m falling further and further in the hole. It shouldn’t be like this.

Are you ok? No… I’m not. I’m not ok and it’s not ok and I don’t know if it will EVER be ok. 

I miss what used to be. I miss what might be able to happen. What if? What if? WHAT IF?! Why can’t things just be ok?! They’re not. All I wanted was another chance. Just too too much. 

I feel overloaded. All of this is an overload and I hurt. I feel empty and in pain. Your life didn’t stop but mine has. Your life can go on great but not mine. I’m alone in this and I will always be alone in this.

Are you ok? No. I don’t think I ever will be.

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